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I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships

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Product details
Paperback: 147 pages
Publisher: Autumn Creek Press; 1 edition (June 19, 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0999104004
ISBN-13: 978-0999104002
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.4 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.7 out of 5 stars
157 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#6,134 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I have spent a majority of my adult life in the hyper-masculine world of the militray. I have been taught to suppress feeling and emotions to the point where I can literally turn them off like you would a light switch. I identify as emotionally retarded.Because I was "losing the fight" dealing with personal relationships by just not engaging or fighting so aggressive that the other person would want to quit and escape, I decided to try this.It wasn't a hard read at all. Almost like it was a written conversation I would have with a friend. And started to try it as I read the book, and by the time I finished the book, I had already gotten a success. It was a simple message that read "I appreciate you trying to work hard on our relationship, I know you are trying and that gives me hope."Try it, because it has worked for me. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I am older and set in my ways. But it has already helped this old dog learn a new trick that could save me from being a old, grumpy and lonely man down the road.
This was a lovely quick read, and I would highly recommend it. It only took me two days of light reading to finish as the book is refreshingly short. Having studied psychology and being more than a little bit obsessed with all things related to therapy, I have seen this skill practiced in the most effective therapists. On my normal day-to-day interactions with people…not so much.So take a moment to think about the people that you love being around the most. Why do you love being around them? Obviously they’re awesome. Part of that awesomeness though is derived from the both of you being able for feel heard and cared for by one another. The best and quickest way to achieve that mutual form of love and understanding is through validation. Michael Sorenson uses charming stories to illustrate the overwhelming benefits and concise steps to create a practical approach that you can use in your everyday interactions. After having read it I’ve found myself trying to be more cognizant of times when I have the opportunity to validate a friend or a family member. While it has only been a week, it has certainly been helpful. The best part is that it is incredibly simple too.Quite a bit of the research utilized in the book is from John Gottman who is world-renowned for his research on relationships and what makes them work. If you are looking for books to read in an effort to improve your interpersonal relationships, whether it’s work, dating, marriage, etc., I would say there are 3 main books/authors to turn to. I Hear You- by Michael Sorenson, Hold Me Tight- by Sue Johnson (leading researcher/ developer of EFT), and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work- by John Gottman. Combining the information of all three books will really provide the best tools for you to use in your relationships and give you the best results.There are only two things that I would complain about. 1) I would have loved to see references listed on the back so I could look into some of the studies that were mentioned in greater depth. This isn’t a problem for the average reader, just for people like me who want to dig into the research that was listed. 2) I would have loved more of the author’s insight on self-validation, but maybe we can save that for another book. ;-)Please enjoy this wonderful book and all the insight it provides. You really will see an improvement once you implement it in your life.Happy reading!
I don't normally write reviews, but I am already halfway through this book and I need to share my thoughts. This book really hits deep to the core. I Hear You not only is an easy read but it's a book that can help YOU personally. I think many of us have heard of the book How to Win Friends & Influence People, which is a great book, but written years ago before smart technology came into our lives. However, now with all the technoIogy its been harder and harder to connect with others. I feel this book has been written for today and the future of creating wonderful relationships. This book teaches some simple skills that can be learned and applied to your own life. I feel like we hear the word communicating, which we think that is just talking with each other. But really it's the successful conveying or sharing of ideas, feelings, and understanding. I think we can all work on our communicating skills. I mean, Who wouldn't want to? I am excited to apply and use these skills to better my own relationships around me. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone! I am actually buying another one for my parents! ha ha ;)
I don't know if I can add anything that hasn't already been said about the content of this book. But I will say that this book is exceptionally well-written. Michael Sorensen says he wondered to himself, "Who am I to write a book?" but he's either naturally gifted or else I want to know the name of his editor. The organization, pacing, and even the length of the book are right-on. His examples are also realistic and clarifying, and he answers questions just as they pop into the reader's head. Writing a good book is not easy, but this "amateur" author nailed it.
This book is really simple in its execution of explaining the power of validation, as well as how to do it according to the author's "Four-step Validation method".I'm reading this with my fiance as we have a few relationships problems and validation is definitely one of them. It's given me a new perspective along with an action plan to make my relationship better. I can say that the skill itself is invaluable for developing. But, personally, I would've liked to see other approaches to validation, especially in terms of conflict.
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